Spring is finally here and I've been reveling in the sights, smells and sounds with a heart filled with gratitude. I wonder if you have been doing the same. :)
Recently, I've had a little more time to slow down and appreciate these things, and ponder some big life lessons...but not by my own choice.
About 2 weeks ago, I badly injured my shoulder while working on the farm and it left me with little function of my right arm.
I was basically useless.
At the height of the growing season, the busiest time of year for farmers.
My doctor said it looked like a severe case of bursitis, but we still cannot explain why my whole arm was swollen, puffy and numb (thankfully, the ultrasound showed no sign of a blood clot). As I listened to her talk about recovery taking weeks or possibly even months, I tried not to panic.
I came home and sunk into despair, looking at all the garden beds that needed to be prepared, the seeds that need to be planted, the plants that need to be potted up. I couldn't even dress myself, wash my hair, cook, do dishes or laundry (not going to lie - having an excuse to not to dishes was ok by me! Ha!).
It was rough.
I'm happy to report that I'm slooooooooowwwwly recovering and can use the arm for lots of small tasks... but raking, shoveling and hoeing (things I do all the time!) are still out of the question. Next week, I will start physical therapy and I'm hoping that will help me make a speedy recovery.
But back to those life lessons. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one, but...
I HATE TO ADMIT THAT I HAVE LIMITATIONS. I WANT TO DO IT ALL. BY MYSELF, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I was surprised by the depth of my anger and frustration. I've always prided (pride! Red flag!) myself in being strong and capable... and suddenly I was weak and incapable.
It was humbling and just a little bit humiliating to have my mom come over and wash my dishes, do my laundry, clean my house, (THANK YOU, MOM!!!) but I'm so glad we have clean underwear again ;)
While I was moping around for a week, feeling sorry for myself, this is the conclusion I came to:
1. I cannot do everything by myself.
2. I MUST to run a sustainable business... which means I need to WORK in a sustainable manner... which means I MUST respect my body's limitations.
3. I need help. Asking for help does not mean I'm weak or flawed or incapable (I keep repeating this to myself non-stop!).
With that in mind, I decided I would throw this out there:
Do you know anyone who would be willing to help me out occasionally on the farm this summer?
Maybe it's you.
Or maybe you know someone who loves to work outside and get their hands dirty once in a while.
I'm looking for a few volunteers to help out with tasks, such as:
-PLANTING SEEDS AND TRANSPLANTS
-WASHING FLOWER BUCKETS
In return, you will have my undying gratitude and appreciation. I'm sure you will also learn some new skills and expand your gardening/farming knowledge.
If you think this is something you can do, please let me know! It's humbling to admit I need help, but it's the truth.
Please feel free to leave comments below or email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
In the meantime, I keep working with my limited function and just tell myself I'm doing the best I can!